Once, as a child, I ate the chia seeds that came with my Christmas Chia Pet instead of smearing them on the clay pot and waiting for the miracle of plant growth. Little did I know that I was really an early adopter and years ahead of my time. When my mother asked me why I ate the seeds, I told her it was for science. Then I had fibre cramps.
I can’t believe there is a stock photo for my made-up chia seed story!
Chia seeds are the new superfood. Superfoods are determined about a year in advance and they take a while to really take off – it was pomegranate, then acai berries, goji was big for a while. Now it’s all about the little specks you can put on food that will miraculously make you healthy despite the jar of mayonnaise you just slathered all over your bacon butty. Mayonnaise is next year’s superfood, don’t worry.
Healthy food trends are all about trumped up claims of vitality and age-reversing properties, and chia seeds have all of that in spades. Full of fibre, these little bits of foodstuff will allegedly fill you up and keep you full while simultaneously lowering your cholesterol and making you shiny with the smug glow that only good health can impart.
By simply adding chia seeds to your food, you make it superfood and therefore, everything with chia seeds on it is healthy and good for you. I like to sprinkle them on organic vanilla ice-cream, hand churned by monks that have taken a vow of silence and made with milk from cattle that moo happily in 3 part harmony. But that’s just because I am eating dairy this week, but only artisanal dairy, I have standards, you know.
Raw, vegan chocolate chia pudding. Looks like diarrhea on a spoon. Can’t wait to eat some!
If you really want to make sure that people know you are eating chia seeds and therefore healthy and hip, find the youngest, cutest grocery store employee you can, ask them “do you know where I can find chia seeds?” make sure you ask it loudly, you want people to notice that you are looking for chia seeds. If you are going to do this please make sure that your cart is pre-loaded with kale, organic pears and Greek yogurt, otherwise they will just think you are a poser. You also have to make sure that you are in one of those overpriced and fancy grocery stores, otherwise, they won’t have chia seeds and you’ll look like a pompous ass.
Incorporating chia seeds into your diet today is a great way to buy into eating healthy. The added benefit is that you get to look all crunchy and cool since you are shopping in the price inflated health and organic section of your grocery store and when people look into your shopping cart, they will see how health orientated and conscious you are of what you are eating and be jealous of you.
photo credit: floridecires / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
photo credit: iceman9294 / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
